Take my breath away...

No, this isn't going to be an 80's soft rock tribute blog.
Yours truly is at a medical conference, an exercise in academic frumpiness, research promotion, and small talk. I know, I know, I really should have something better to do.

Anyways, my not so secret pathology is that I *hate* being late. Really hate it. It gives me a lump in my stomach and makes me fret like no ones business. So I did my best to be nonchalant when my flight was delayed, even though it meant I got into town too late to register for the meeting and drop off my research project for display. Oops.

So of course, this morning, the third day of the conference (the first two being devoted to golfing and birding, which as it turns out is tax deductible for any private practice attendings) I show up ten minutes early to make my apologies, register, and drop off my research poster.

Of course I'm the first one there, except for a large contingent of companions (98% wives) who are in charge of organizing and reorganizing the reception table. I am alarmed- I don't see any coffee.

The nice lady at the table is joined by two of her friends, but they could all pass as triplets. Frosted blond hair, coordinated pants suits, and rocks on fingers that looked like they would need slings to support their sheer weight. Big smiles, very kind.

I say hello, and that I'm checking in for the conference, and that I'm here as a guest to present my research. They ask my name, and I reply.

"Hernandez?", one inquires skeptically.

The other grabs my left hand and the third one inspects my left ring finger to confirm accuracy. Yep, they confer, confabulate and configure the data. No ring.

"Is that your first husband's name?" one chirps sympathetically.

"No", I respond sweetly, "It's my father's."

"WOW!" she responds, "You're the tallest MEXICAN I've ever seen."

(Editors note- for those who have not met Dr. Alvarez, she's a charming conglomeration of race/ethnicities, none of which involve Mexico, or Mexicans).

I am not sure what I looked like as I vacillated between uncontrollable giggles and an unrestrained need for more coffee, but I'm sure it was damn funny cause it's always pretty obvious what I'm thinking.

Her friend must have registered something from my emotional Richter scale, cause she leaned over the table and cooed, "Oh,honey, that's great! We have the most beautiful vacation home in Mexico, and we have LOTS of Mexican friends...."